I find that making plans in life seems to be one of the hardest things for me to do. Often I just roll with life and what happens happens and ya push through. Its not like it takes a lot of planning to go to work for 10 hrs a day, it takes a little planning to get to bed at a decent time, a bit more planning for dinner to get on the table (which lately has been my lovely wife more than me, she is such a blessing), but when I begin to think of where I want to go in life there seems to be a lot more planning that I push to the side. I guess maybe I don't even have a definite desired goal that I am planning for.
Don't get me wrong, I love working at QVC and enjoy the people I work with but that isn't my life. It is a good job that I enjoy but not my passion. It is the means that gets me the money to accomplish the dreams, which in itself is a plan I suppose. Work to get money to build a good life for my wife and future kids. (and no there is none coming any time soon) But I find myself wondering what exactly do I want to do for a life? What are my plans? I love working with youth. I would love to be a youth pastor of course but I would only like to do that as a volunteer thing. I would love to be a teacher in a private school but I have to get the degree which I owe money for. I have also developed an interest to understand the mind of people. I guess I have always enjoyed Psychology but more and more I just love trying to understand why people are the way they are.
So publicly I will resolve to write down my plans thus enforcing others to be able to hold me accountable. I am going to work at QVC to pay off my loans and attain my degree from BBC. Once I receive that degree I will apply to become a theology teacher or a math teacher in a private high school. I will continue to grow in my knowledge and understanding of God and His creation. Hopefully I will find somewhere that I can get involved with a youth ministry and help build a strong ministry. It may require some change, some sacrifice, and a bunch of discipline. I have already begun be deleting some of the games I played on facebook. (good bye Mafia Wars) I suppose how can I expect others to live to their full potential if I allow myself to settle with mediocrity.
Those of you wondering, yes I do derive this from Nehemiah. He went out at night and inspected the wall, grasping the reality of the situation, and made a plan. He then sought out others and involved them. It's time I begin to make my favorite quote real in my life.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others" -Marianne Williamson
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