What do you think about
when someone tells you they are a "stay at home" mother? My initial
picture is June Cleaver. She is never stressed out, always had time to cook,
clean, and basically hold the house together. What the show didn't show us was
how she handled infants. Most TV shows don't show that period of life. (Probably
because babies are just so hard to work out a contract with)
Now that we have 2
little children 1 year and under; it is astonishing to see how much my lovely
wife's life has to change. I never really saw her as a career woman. She
held a job and did a fantastic job doing it. I had not put much thought into
the idea that she had actually defined herself by her job. You often hear of
guys finding their identity in their work but not so much women. Having
established herself in a field she loved and proven herself worthy was a grand
achievement. Leaving it to go into a chaotic environment where you can't
communicate with the "coworkers" aka kids had to be quite the culture
shock. Work had provided a structured and organized environment that
allowed her to know what she needed to do and how she needed to do it.
Parenting on the other hand seems to be one of those learn on the fly type deals.
No two parenting styles are the same and none are specific for every child. She
was now forced to labor in understanding the children and how they communicate
in order to fulfill her new role as a mother. This is a daily challenge that
though she seems to struggle time to time, I think she is doing a marvelous
job.
Suddenly having to
reestablish yourself as the boss while leaving friends that you have built a
report with over many years leads into another bump in the transition. Luckily
she has been blessed with great coworkers in the past that still offer her that
adult company that every mother needs. To be with 2 children who cannot
formulate a sentence doesn't stimulate the mind very much on the intellectual
level. With me working as many hours as I can she is forced to find
friends that can offer her a respite from the whines, cries, or simple happy
yet uncomprehendable jibberish of her daily interactions. If the roles
were reversed and I were to stay at home I don't know how I would handle the
lack of interaction even though I'm not much of a social butterfly.
Erin has acclimated well
to her new role as mother. (In my opinion) She does her best and I am extremely
proud of all that she does. It isn't easy getting 2 kids dressed, fed,
and ready to go out and grocery shop while affording daddy time to sleep during
the day. Being there when one needs fed, the other needs attention, and
the dog needs a walk. Becoming their first teacher, encouraging them to
speak, do sign language, use manors, clean up, and have fun. There is no
punching the clock, no hourly wage, and hardly enough recognition to begin to
show how great a job she does. Thank you dear.
